I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
