Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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