At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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