Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
