I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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