Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
