make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
