I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
