do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You can't special order awesome
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
