So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
