That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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