she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
