So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
We're too hungover to prance.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
