I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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