dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
