Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
