hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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