Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
