i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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