He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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