i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
