Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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