either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Randomize
