Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
