I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
