I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
