I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just forgot I was standing up.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
