Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Randomize