Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
