I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
