update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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