did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize