your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
