I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize