Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
