Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
