I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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