I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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