Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
