Tell her she can't have a vagina
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
