Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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