I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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