I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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