ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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