Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
