i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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