Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
