Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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