We're facebook friends in real life
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
