Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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