Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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