doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
