I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
