worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
