I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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