Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
