Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
i now understand why vodka
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
