He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
how drunk are you?
Several
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
