I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
