we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
