I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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